Just thinking...
While Hume articulates the is-ought problem, I think mine might actually be the opposite. The ought, I think, might be more real to me than the is. As much as I focus on and talk about process--how becoming is the point and part of life to be enjoyed and experienced, more than the final product--I am realizing just how much I stumble on and fight with what is because I cannot understand why things aren't as they ought to be, not realizing that what is has the potential to lead to what ought to be.
Still thinking this one through...
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Thursday, July 19, 2012
an update
Since I started writing at 750words.com, I kind of just stopped writing here. And actually, for the past month, I think I've just kind of stopped writing. I think this dearth might also be reflective of the fact that I have now transitioned into my life, where my normal state is much more introspective, and I was never really in the habit of exposing the inner musings of my soul via writing. I figure most people like stories and events, but I don't really have as many of those now that I'm back in my own skin. I mean, to me, this is what life is really about, but I guess that's kind of hard to write about for others, because I think it might be hard to follow along. Although I will be moving soon, which means new color schemes and more space!! So I'll be sure to update with that.
Otherwise, read on if you feel like discovering what I've been beginning to understand about myself. Probably the most revelatory experience lately has been reifying my conceptions of abstract vs. concrete by comparing it to others'. (First of all, can I just tell you how excited I am about the word reify? I think I have been looking for a word like that for so long. And I'm so happy it exists!) I completely (well, conceptually at least) understand why concrete generally refers to things that are physically tangible and describable. Why stories and actual events are the concrete things of life. But not for me. I have a really hard time trying to tell a story because I don't remember events as well as I remember ideas. I mean, sure, I can recount stories, but what catches most of my attention is the internal experience of it. To me, concrete is influence, change, affect, ideas, learning, growth. Those are the things that seem more tangible to me. Granted, they are not literally so, but those are the things that to me are constants that are, with the right eye, quite visible. Sure, sometimes I can be wrong. Sometimes I'm biased and I'll place emotions that might not be there. But the constant quest is to see more clearly and correctly. It doesn't seem so abstract to me to try to uncover the beginnings of an idea, to define knowledge and to understand how it is transferred and transformed, how an idea actually becomes knowledge. But a mechanism that turns to generate electricity? Totally abstract. Even though I can touch it and watch it move.
Being exposed to a group of local, urban high school students reminds me, too, that the thinking I take for granted is actually an invaluable resource. The way I view the world has brought me to the place where I am. I have influence. I can affect the direction of thought. It's kind of scary, but that potential also motivates me to make sure that I try to remain unbiased and open to new ideas, so thoughts can be guided by true principles, and not just by the way I'd like others to see the world.
The dual nature of man. That's another thing that keeps me up at night. I made a 2x2 in my head after Sunday School on Sunday and feel the need to share it. You might ask why it would even matter to do something like this, but...it just helps me understand more clearly. Along one dimension is the natural man versus the enlightened one. The other dimension contains heart and mind. There is a logic and a feeling of the natural man, and one of the enlightened or spiritual one. There are universal, neutral principles that can then be better understood in this light. For example, belief. The natural way is to prove through experiment and deduce through experience, whereas the way the gospel outlines requires faith, which is to first believe and then know. Maybe more on this later....I should probably work a little more.
Otherwise, read on if you feel like discovering what I've been beginning to understand about myself. Probably the most revelatory experience lately has been reifying my conceptions of abstract vs. concrete by comparing it to others'. (First of all, can I just tell you how excited I am about the word reify? I think I have been looking for a word like that for so long. And I'm so happy it exists!) I completely (well, conceptually at least) understand why concrete generally refers to things that are physically tangible and describable. Why stories and actual events are the concrete things of life. But not for me. I have a really hard time trying to tell a story because I don't remember events as well as I remember ideas. I mean, sure, I can recount stories, but what catches most of my attention is the internal experience of it. To me, concrete is influence, change, affect, ideas, learning, growth. Those are the things that seem more tangible to me. Granted, they are not literally so, but those are the things that to me are constants that are, with the right eye, quite visible. Sure, sometimes I can be wrong. Sometimes I'm biased and I'll place emotions that might not be there. But the constant quest is to see more clearly and correctly. It doesn't seem so abstract to me to try to uncover the beginnings of an idea, to define knowledge and to understand how it is transferred and transformed, how an idea actually becomes knowledge. But a mechanism that turns to generate electricity? Totally abstract. Even though I can touch it and watch it move.
Being exposed to a group of local, urban high school students reminds me, too, that the thinking I take for granted is actually an invaluable resource. The way I view the world has brought me to the place where I am. I have influence. I can affect the direction of thought. It's kind of scary, but that potential also motivates me to make sure that I try to remain unbiased and open to new ideas, so thoughts can be guided by true principles, and not just by the way I'd like others to see the world.
The dual nature of man. That's another thing that keeps me up at night. I made a 2x2 in my head after Sunday School on Sunday and feel the need to share it. You might ask why it would even matter to do something like this, but...it just helps me understand more clearly. Along one dimension is the natural man versus the enlightened one. The other dimension contains heart and mind. There is a logic and a feeling of the natural man, and one of the enlightened or spiritual one. There are universal, neutral principles that can then be better understood in this light. For example, belief. The natural way is to prove through experiment and deduce through experience, whereas the way the gospel outlines requires faith, which is to first believe and then know. Maybe more on this later....I should probably work a little more.
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
just a day in the life...
(i'm post-dating this to the actual time of the blessed event.)
I found a little surprise when I got back from a LOVELY wedding in California! Well, more accurately, I smelled one...(I will say, I find it fascinating that, even without formal training or prior experience, the recognition of the smell of death is somehow innate.)
Maybe fleas are the worst, but this was definitely the grossest...
dead. mouse. under. the. fridge.
After trying to stay away from my apartment for a day, I decided it was time to scour the place to find the source of the horrible smell. Finally, after a lot of searching and sniffing (I felt like I was playing that hot/cold game...the smell is stronger over here! that means I'm closer...), I saw what looked to be a tail leading from under the fridge.
I pulled it out, using a plastic bag and a lot of napkins. (After prepping myself for a few minutes to be ready for what I was about to see.)
But even with all that, I could still feel that disgusting tail. It was wedged, so i had to squeeze and pull that rough tail. Worst thought at this moment was, "What if I rip the tail off the body?"
What I was not prepared for...
THERE WERE (BOT FLY?) LARVAE CRAWLING ALL OVER ITS BODY.
what's it like? Like this... (just not orange) TIMES FIFTEEN. (I didn't take this video. Just found it, so you would begin to understand. I won't even begin to describe the SMELL.)
Why?! Why. ;( :$
I found a little surprise when I got back from a LOVELY wedding in California! Well, more accurately, I smelled one...(I will say, I find it fascinating that, even without formal training or prior experience, the recognition of the smell of death is somehow innate.)
Maybe fleas are the worst, but this was definitely the grossest...
dead. mouse. under. the. fridge.
After trying to stay away from my apartment for a day, I decided it was time to scour the place to find the source of the horrible smell. Finally, after a lot of searching and sniffing (I felt like I was playing that hot/cold game...the smell is stronger over here! that means I'm closer...), I saw what looked to be a tail leading from under the fridge.
I pulled it out, using a plastic bag and a lot of napkins. (After prepping myself for a few minutes to be ready for what I was about to see.)
But even with all that, I could still feel that disgusting tail. It was wedged, so i had to squeeze and pull that rough tail. Worst thought at this moment was, "What if I rip the tail off the body?"
What I was not prepared for...
THERE WERE (BOT FLY?) LARVAE CRAWLING ALL OVER ITS BODY.
what's it like? Like this... (just not orange) TIMES FIFTEEN. (I didn't take this video. Just found it, so you would begin to understand. I won't even begin to describe the SMELL.)
Why?! Why. ;( :$
Friday, May 25, 2012
A clarification for mirnhoj
I'm pretty sure we've discussed this many times, John, but just to be clear ;)
I still believe that people can change. And that they do. And that it can be a really great thing. But I guess I will concede on the point that maybe people don't do it quite so quickly as I anticipate. I think being friends with me can be burdensome because of that--in fact, I think that that's why I am burdensome to myself. Because I expect a lot more out of me that I can sometimes produce. But, since this post is pretty much directed to you, and you expect an air of superiority from me, I will conclude by saying that at least I change faster than most. :) haha. [Partially to mostly] kidding. (The brackets here are used with their mathematical connotation, to represent a range, that my kiddingness falls somewhere between partial and mostly.) I am slowly coming to embrace just what a nerd I am. I thought I had, but I think I've actually been suppressing it for a while...at least with most people.
That's all.
I still believe that people can change. And that they do. And that it can be a really great thing. But I guess I will concede on the point that maybe people don't do it quite so quickly as I anticipate. I think being friends with me can be burdensome because of that--in fact, I think that that's why I am burdensome to myself. Because I expect a lot more out of me that I can sometimes produce. But, since this post is pretty much directed to you, and you expect an air of superiority from me, I will conclude by saying that at least I change faster than most. :) haha. [Partially to mostly] kidding. (The brackets here are used with their mathematical connotation, to represent a range, that my kiddingness falls somewhere between partial and mostly.) I am slowly coming to embrace just what a nerd I am. I thought I had, but I think I've actually been suppressing it for a while...at least with most people.
That's all.
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Writing heals my soul.
I imagine most of you aren't interested in the specifics of what I'm researching (the guts that I think are interesting...or sometimes try to convince myself are interesting, for the sake of research :) ), but the topic I think is probably generally of interest. It's about how game mechanics are being added to tasks to make them more enjoyable, and thus done more regularly.
As I've been perusing dozens of apps and websites, etc., I've run across some pretty interesting ones, though in the end, I wonder how much they'd actually do for me. And then I found this one. 750 words. The point is just to get yourself writing--free writing. It's like blogging, but not, because I get to write the types of things I don't put here, or, quite frankly, anywhere out loud, because I haven't found anyone that really wants to listen, without all the drama of taking it personally, trying to give advice when I can't take it, etc. It's only been 3 days, but it's amazing. I feel cleansed. Because, as you may or may not know, I tend to think on the side of relatively a lot. :) And I think that contributes a great deal to my emotional extremities. But getting it out, having it written...it's better than just thinking it. My thoughts become more solid, even to myself. And I'm able to see my own errors and shortcomings. And somehow it's not overwhelming, but relieving. It's 750 words, because it takes more thought than a simple journal entry like, "Nothing new today." Or "PhD is hard." I don't know that I'm really motivated by the challenge of being put on the wall of shame if I don't do it everyday, but I think I am motivated by the potential to be 100%. Meaning doing it everyday. Even when it's hard. Even when I think there's nothing more to say. (Ha! Will there ever be a day?)
Anyway, I just wanted to share. Just in case someone else is in need of something similar.
Also, other cool things include the fact that there's a little bit of sentiment analysis going on. That means you can see how emotional your writing is, what you're concerned about, and your overall mindset. Whether you're focused on past, present, or future more. And whether I focus on myself or others more. So fascinating.
So I don't love that I'm more negative, but it's where I am right now, and I think I know it. But as I flush it out, I thought it'd be nice to see my progress out of it.
As I've been perusing dozens of apps and websites, etc., I've run across some pretty interesting ones, though in the end, I wonder how much they'd actually do for me. And then I found this one. 750 words. The point is just to get yourself writing--free writing. It's like blogging, but not, because I get to write the types of things I don't put here, or, quite frankly, anywhere out loud, because I haven't found anyone that really wants to listen, without all the drama of taking it personally, trying to give advice when I can't take it, etc. It's only been 3 days, but it's amazing. I feel cleansed. Because, as you may or may not know, I tend to think on the side of relatively a lot. :) And I think that contributes a great deal to my emotional extremities. But getting it out, having it written...it's better than just thinking it. My thoughts become more solid, even to myself. And I'm able to see my own errors and shortcomings. And somehow it's not overwhelming, but relieving. It's 750 words, because it takes more thought than a simple journal entry like, "Nothing new today." Or "PhD is hard." I don't know that I'm really motivated by the challenge of being put on the wall of shame if I don't do it everyday, but I think I am motivated by the potential to be 100%. Meaning doing it everyday. Even when it's hard. Even when I think there's nothing more to say. (Ha! Will there ever be a day?)
Anyway, I just wanted to share. Just in case someone else is in need of something similar.
Also, other cool things include the fact that there's a little bit of sentiment analysis going on. That means you can see how emotional your writing is, what you're concerned about, and your overall mindset. Whether you're focused on past, present, or future more. And whether I focus on myself or others more. So fascinating.
So I don't love that I'm more negative, but it's where I am right now, and I think I know it. But as I flush it out, I thought it'd be nice to see my progress out of it.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
The doggies go to...
Boston Public Gardens.
Copley Square.
Anthropologie.
the Charles River.
the Freedom Trail.
the subway.
Yale.
the Philadelphia Art Museum.
Kelly Drive.
the Rodin Museum.
Logan Square.
Love Park (the JFK Plaza).
City Hall.
John F. Collins Park.
Independence Hall.
the Liberty Bell.
Princeton.
the Jackson Premium Outlets.
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
I never used to be a crier...
At least that's what I tell myself. Maybe these are all the tears that I never shed as a child. My sister left today, and I couldn't...can't...stop crying. I can't quite put my finger on it.
"Did you know that the people that seem the strongest are usually the most sensitive? Did you know that the people who exhibit the most kindness are usually the first to get mistreated? Did you know the ones who take care of others all the time are usually the ones that need it the most? Did you know the 3 hardest things to say are: I love you, I’m sorry and Help me?"
Anyway...
"Did you know that the people that seem the strongest are usually the most sensitive? Did you know that the people who exhibit the most kindness are usually the first to get mistreated? Did you know the ones who take care of others all the time are usually the ones that need it the most? Did you know the 3 hardest things to say are: I love you, I’m sorry and Help me?"
Anyway...
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