a web begun

This is actually the sixth post that I've written to this blog, but the first one that I'll make visible. I don't know why I feel the need to say that, except to just let you (the ambiguous you that I've been trying to fight against writing for a long time; but honestly, you're probably someone I know, because I doubt you'd have found this page on your own.) know that there is so much going on within and without at any given moment and trying to capture any of that seems so futile because it's impossible for me to capture the wholeness of any moment. But as you know, I get (have gotten) carried away, and it turns out that just writing about the things that are happening around me is actually kind of fun.

I’m finally almost all moved in! It feels really good. And I really want to tell someone about it, so I hope you enjoy being the object of my ramblings (and if you don't, you can just close the window). Here's what I started with (please note that this is the entire room that I'm working with, the picture being taken from the front door:

Sometimes I laugh as I’m putting stuff away because I realize how ridiculous I am. I would like to say that I’m not excessively particular, but it turns out I am. I mean, I'm so tempted to buy different garbage bags so that they match the trash can and the overall black and white theme (with a deep red accent color) of the bathroom. It’s a good thing toilet paper is white.

Still, I’m trying to be practical and resourceful, so I think I’ve maintained a pretty decent budget and haven’t really gone overboard. (I’ve stayed under $700—and that includes an air conditioning window unit, a mattress, a really nice pillow, extra closet space, a desk, a bookshelf, a nice comfy chair, and some other helpful organizational bins, etc.) It’s not perfect, but it’s starting to feel homier. Here is my multi-functioning desk slash kitchen table:

which blends into the kitchen's theme of green (to match my amazing 9-speed Kitchen Aid mixer, which sadly, is not displayed quite so prominently yet)

the reading area is orange (I'm still looking for the right thing to hang on the wall...what do you think about "Christ Walking on Water" by Julius von Klever? The colors are perfect, as would be the theme, but would it clash with the cutesy pattern of the chair?)

and the bed area is navy (which really is just...my mattress covered in a navy blue sheet).

(Note how the mattress actually blocks the door, so once the bed is down, there's no getting in or out.) The necessity of the clothes rack headrest is made obvious by seeing the size of the actual closet...

I’m really looking forward to making curtains—it’s probably things like that that make it the most enjoyable (also, it'll be the thing that makes the color scheme a little more obvious). It feels good to create something…to fill that “deepest yearning of the human soul,” you know? To put a little piece (or a big piece) of your soul into something, and see it take its own form…That’s probably why this whole decorating thing is appealing—whether in putting together my own furniture, or arranging things to be creative with space, or picking colors that I think blend well, or having the room accented with things that hold little sentimental places in me…I don’t know what is so magical, healing even, about creating. But it’s true! Just like President Uchtdorf said.

I was getting kind of worried when I first brought all my stuff in—I spent all Saturday just hauling boxes and furniture, etc. up the stairs and then assembling it all, which meant extra trash and boxes piling up around me. (Side note: I’m very proud of myself for being physically up to the task at hand. Yes, I can carry a desk and a chair with one arm up two flights of stairs.) The whole floor was covered in stuff—no exaggeration. But after a whole weekend of just cleaning and organizing, (good thing I had Rapunzel and Eugene to keep me company--thanks Kelsey :D!), everything has a place, and there’s even enough room to do yoga in the middle of the floor if I wanted! I’m also trying to see how long I can go without getting internet service. I have a data plan for the necessaries, like always being available via email or to play WordFeud, but I spend all day on campus, and I think it might be a good thing for me to come home and not be able to just be distracted by the ease of TV or perusing the internet. I’ll have time to read books, write letters, sew, volunteer, oh, and ponder about that dissertation….I can’t compartmentalize worth beans, especially now that my career is essentially disciplined and critical thinking, but this will be my best attempt at separating life and work. Except that my life is work. Not in a pathetic or workaholic way…but just, well, maybe, but at least not in the-hopeless-indirect-why-me way. I’m just in transition, in location, career, and state of heart. But I feel really lucky, because God has always been so good at sending me thread.